M7 | Quieting the Mind & Mental Stimulation
Hosting, BarbenHeimer, & the cognitive processing cost of visual-auditory stimuli
After hosting extended family in the Bay Area for 2+ weeks, I was lucky enough to head out to Paris and London for 2 weeks! I hadn’t planned to take an international trip this summer, but two generous friends offered me housing in both cities - and I decided (and people told me) that I’d be a fool not to go.
Things I’ve launched recently:
Genuinely, I feel like I haven’t launched anything of note in the last month. But if I’m being more self-compassionate, there’s the countless ways I’ve shown up in real life with authenticity, kindness, leadership and compassion in the last 30 days. Co-hosting 13+ humans and coordinating daily activities, ranging from kayaking against the ocean current to machine-gunning yarn into a canvas to navigating intergenerational conflict and LARGE personalities without losing my sh*t is an accomplishment!
Things I’m reading/doing/listening to:
Book Rec | Indistractable by Nir Eyal. Hilariously, I’m listening to it in the most distracted way possible: on Audible, while simultaneously crocheting a baby blanket for a close friend and pausing to grab pen/paper to take notes!
That being said, it’s short and succinct and very actionable! I’m finding it relevant as I’ve felt more distracted/scattered recently.
I’m also paying attention to what in my life is feeding the distraction AND what emotions/feelings I may be trying to distract myself from!
Movie Rec | Barbie. 5 stars. I’d put this as a must-see and it’s perfect. Every beat, line, and frame is spot-on. Margot Robbie, Greta Gerwig and America Ferrera capture with precision the challenge of being a woman in a world that was built for men. Ryan Gosling embodies the insecurity and challenge of being an object when you don’t have permission to be the subject. I’m grateful this movie exists, even as I recognize how far we’ve come as a society - and how far we have to go. It’s hilarious and moving social commentary at its finest.
Movie Rec | Oppenheimer. 4 1/3 stars. It’s a masterful cinematographic marvel. And, it’s about 30 min too long in my estimation. There’s a slow start, where Nolan focuses on incredibly beautiful shots, and then a rush to cover 2-3 decades in the remaining 2.5 hours. On a personal level, I found myself sitting with a sense of disquiet after: The human cost of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Awe at the dramatic advancement in physical sciences - and a question of whether humanity is doing similarly transformative work now, with more computing power and resources than before. Noticing the lack of people of color in the movie; wondering if that was an intentional choice to present the factual reality - and sadness if that were true. It’s worth seeing - just plan for a bathroom break!
Things I’m thinking about
The cognitive processing cost of visual-auditory stimuli
I recently was in a car accident, where I was stopped at a light and a drunk driver swerved into my lane and hit my car head-on (but at an angle). Thankfully, I walked away with just minor bruises to my hand, though I did go to urgent care the next day for a mild headache and neck/back pain.
The emergency room doctor explained that, even though I hadn’t hit my head, the reverberation & shock wave would have shaken my brain in my skull, causing tiny bleeds that were causing the headache & brain fog. His advice? To avoid watching TV, movies, and reading - anything that would be “mentally stimulating” - for a few days, as my brain healed.
First, this made me appreciate the mild concussions and traumatic brain injuries that athletes, specifically football players, can experience on the field - it’s no joke!
Second, I use my brain in stimulating ways constantly. If I’m not asleep, I’m ingesting information, usually by reading. If I’m not reading, I’m listening to an audiobook or podcast, which I do while running, laundry or doing the dishes.
Using my brain is central to my identity.
So this was a tall order. And, I was grateful to have permission to simply rest as I felt sluggish and slow that weekend, operating (by my estimation) at 50% capacity. My activity of choice (when I wasn’t asleep): cooking. I’m adept enough that I don't need to read recipes off a device; chopping is meditative and mindless for me.
The doctor’s advice reminds me of what I learned as a cognitive neuroscience major in undergrad: the visual and auditory stimulation we take in everyday creates cognitive load and demand on our brain’s resources. We do this so effortlessly (and our brains process information so seamlessly) that we rarely count the cost of a loud environment, rapid movements in our visual field, or the energetic cost of taking a new driving path to work (which is why so many of us take the same paths or prefer routines).
As I’m being more mindful, I’m paying attention to what drains me and where I’m experiencing cognitive load that’s tiring. So far, a list of things:
Noise. Realizing I prefer total silence over music or ambient noise, 90% of the time. (The rare exception is the coffeeshop, where the ambient noise is somehow just background noise and helpful for productivity).
3 kids (vs 2 kids or 1 kid). Both of my sisters have 3 kids, and I’m occasionally in contexts where I have all three of them simultaneously engaging with me. When they were younger, I used to cope by setting a timer so that I could spend 2-5 min with each kid - which both felt more fair AND I could focus on one child at a time. As they’ve gotten older, it’s harder to enforce and sometimes I have all 3 kids talking to me at once! When it’s just one kid at a time (or even two), it’s so much more manageable.
Action shows. I was catching up with a friend and former co-worker recently (who also shares a value for managing physical energy, mental energy and emotional state) about how we’ve both stopped watching certain types of TV before we go to bed. He remarked that after a long day of making sure that he wasn’t expending emotional energy in nonproductive ways, he’d watch a show and find himself anxious; heart-racing, and physiologically stressed right as he was planning to go to bed - which was counterproductive! I’ve similarly found that I can’t watch thrillers, spy movies or scary movies during the week before bedtime; my go-to for unwinding has become comedy - something where I can laugh and that releases serotonin - or a physical book, which is less visually stimulating than TV.
Gratitude for my brain & the whole self
It was scary to experience and feel that my brain wasn’t working well right after the accident. Being “smart” and having the ability to recall information, synthesize effortlessly, and communicate succinctly has been central to my identity for over 3 decades. And yet, as I’ve spent more time with my 73-year-old father, who is losing his short term-memory and recall in the aging process, it reminds me that our intellectual capacity isn’t unlimited or endless: our minds and bodies are finite.
As I was chopping onions, worried that my brain was forever damaged (it’s not), I also found myself feeling oddly…freer. My own ambition (and desire to use my intellect well) creates pressure to do certain kinds of white-collar work. I realize that I’m luckier than many - even if I couldn’t do the specific kind of intellectual/analytical work that I enjoy, there are other kinds of work that I can still do: Listen empathetically. Create with my hands. Help others.
Reflection questions
Knowing that all external stimuli has a cognitive processing cost (and you have finite attention, time and mental energy in a day to process it all), what stimuli in your life consistently detract from your ability to focus or subtract from your pool of patience, focus, and attention? (For people with kids, you may want to frame this in terms of one specific action/behavior your kid does vs a holistic “my kids.”)
What can you remove from your life to prioritize your attention/focus for the things that matter? (Again, removing your kids is not an option, but you can focus on specific behaviors!)
What activities can you do that give your brain a break from cognitive processing? For me, it’s cooking, running and yoga; where I’m so focused on a (fairly mindless) task that doesn’t require executive function or processing.